FASHIONISTAS, WE DON’T NEED YOU

Indie and alternative music have no meaning any more.
None.
People label themselves as both.  Why?  Liking Test Icicles, Arctic Monkeys, the Ordinary Boys, the Strokes, Panic At The Disco, Help She Can't Swim and all of those doesn't make you an indie kid, it makes you look like a ridiculous poser.
And clothes!  I admit I like polka dots, but man…leopard print footless tights?  Why?!  In the toilets at Test Icicles (we were street teaming and left early, before you say ANYTHING) there was a bunch of identkit scenesters.  You know the type, vest top, short skirt, footless tights, flat shoes (which I also love, but shut up).  Bows and polka dots somewhere about their person.  Headband.  Probably all bought in Top Shop.
Fine.  I can deal with that, I live with one.  What riled me was when one of them said 'Me and other-identikit-scenester are the only people who stand out in our school!'
I had to restrain my laughs.  Yes, you're seeeeeeew original, when every other person here tonight looks exactly like you!
Indie doesn't exist any more.  So the next person in footless tights, a polka dot headscarf round their neck and a choppy black-and-blonde-streaked fashionista mullet to label themselves as such is going to have their geometrically-perfect fringe ruffled and be bathed in eye makeup remover.  Do they think they look good in so much eyeliner?

Another year she wonders, “Why am I still here?”…

The above lyric is pretty much every thought I have.

Why AM I still here?

By here, I mean on this side of my road. 

Eh, so I haven’t blogged since…

*checks*
Friday.
I didn't talk about Thursday night, but I'll give it a mention. Flyered Seven Heroes, their merchandise guy recognised me from Myspace and gave me free stuff and he introduced me to everyone like I was their biggest fan. The band recognised me as well, and once they got playing they were ace as well. That's enough of that.
I was supposed to flyer Arctic Monkeys on Saturday as well. Guess what?

Wait for it…

I forgot to go.
First time I've ever completely forgotten to go. Um. That I can remember.
I was not inundated with chocolate eggs yesterday, I got one box of Roses. Which I just finished. I managed to leave a strawberry one until last, which is a clear sign that I have willpower beyond belief.

I went to my first gig a year ago today. If you know me much/at all you'll know who that was. In the past year I have been to 42 gigs, at 18 different venues (yeah, that counts shops for instores, different stages within venues, and things like Herrington Country Park and Baltic Square), in 5 different cities.
I've seen bands upwards of five times each.
I've paid extortionate amounts for gigs, I've paid next to nothing to see bands who've gone on to be huge, I've been to free gigs, I've been guestlisted for gigs and I've been paid to see bands.
I saw the Cribs last June for the same price and in the same place as I saw Jim Noir in February. Big difference between the two.
I've met some ace people. I've encountered some not-so-nice people, and I've encountered (fortunately I've never really met any of these) COMPLETE CUNTS.
I've travelled and bloody enjoyed it. I've walked home from gigs and got long-distance trains home.
I've camped out all night for tickets.
I've stage invaded.
Honestly? I can't remember life before gigs. The past year has cost me a fortune and I'm grateful for it.

Photostory!

It’s not all of the pictures I took yesterday, some I missed out for various reasons.

We started here.

We (OK, I, I was the one who turned up early) left too much time so we spent lots of time sitting in here. Yes we are reflected in the glass.

We got this train to Newcastle.

Cheerful Katie.

All aboard our train that would take us to Leeds. With snacks and entertainment. The Metro was much more entertaining to draw on than read.

‘Thank you for choosing to travel.’

Always rains.

Made it!

What is your quest? To find the bloody Warehouse. Not a reprographics place.

Think we found it.

We’re not looking to throw ourselves into the sea, we were heading for other parts of Leeds.

Like this, its best feature. It’s bigger than RPM but it’s certainly not better.

RPM don’t have these though. And thanks to Katie and I, nor do Jumbo any more.

Made it! (This picture isn’t from Wednesday but it fits.)

Are you rocking out? ARE YOU?

Are you rocking out NOW?

Looking at these you wouldn’t be surprised that they lasted until the train home. I was, we only had two each and the gig was HOT. No, not hott (although it was), I mean I was heating up. This is the legendary free water.

The world’s most useless traffic lights. I mean, look at them, they point down a pedestrian street.

Monkey’s blood? Flake?

Last sit-down she got for a while….

…in front of these.

Waiting for ages eventually has its advantages…

I told you.

We love Si.

He showed us this from the night before in Newcastle. He got glassed in his back. (This isn’t my picture either)

And…we’re in! After a struggle. Not our fault, or the Warehouse’s either. DIE, SEETICKETS.

Last Gang. Dead dead good, and their singer was a bit hot.

And they got these two miscreants on stage for their last song.

The Horrors. Weird. But I liked. And as Amy would say, hott, with two ts.

Glittery.

Siiii…

Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan. Sans headbra.

Smile, Tom!

And after that…there were no more pictures. Read below entry if you want the rest of the story.

I can’t sum up today.

Katie, gimme a hand?
Well, adding details anyway. I've just got to get it all down before, heaven forbid, I forget.
So. Leeds. I turned up at Katie's house early and we set off a little early. I got £5 from my mother for food and we were off.
In the waiting room in Sunderland station, some charv kept connecting to my phone via Bluetooth and trying to send me shite. It's unsurprising how fun it is to say 'REJECT' loudly when pressing the reject button.
They rejected the clip of Animal I tried to send.
We changed in, of course, decent time and got on the train to Leeds equipped with snacks. Brilliant. Scampi and lemon Nik Naks are so underrated, even if they make my fingers stink.
We had a good laugh at refreshments guy ('Is he coming back? Is he coming back? He's not coming back…HE CAME BACK!'), the conductor's announcements, people around us, my complete inability to make sense and make sensible statements, and places around us.
It always rains in Northallerton.
Oh, lest I forget! The defaced Metro! Fan-bloody-tastic. The newspaper, obviously, not the train. COCK.
Oh yes, getting there. We got horrendously LOST trying to find the Warehouse. I'd asked Tom from Black Wire, he said just round the corner from the station. My dad asked a work colleague, apparently they said Wellington Street. I asked the Royal Mail website, that said Somers Street. I asked a map and someone offering directions, they said Somers Street didn't exist.
'Somers Street? I don't know…what's on it that you're looking for?'
'The Warehouse nightclub?'
'Oh, yeah, I know where that is, I used to work there.' We'd walked like hell down Wellington Street and just happened to turn off at the right street. It was right round the corner from where we were, and not very near the station.
We walk round, bloody bagel bar, oh yes, first left. The street sign? Somers Street.
Die.
We spent ages trying to find the entrance before realising that open scummy double door in this back lane, surrounded by vans, was the entrance. That blue van, whose was it? Nah, can't be Black Wire's. But…I recognised it! And it had a Black Wire sticker on the back.
Of course it was theirs. We didn't see them at that point, asked a kindly man a few questions, and were on our way. Fortunately the other end of the street opened onto the Headrow, so at least I knew where we were. So. Mooch.
I'd love to show you my pictures, but it's late, and I've been up for 18 hours at least. But you really need a picture to show the next thing. Next to the town hall, there's some street signs. They point to different streets, no, none of them Somers Street. But one pointing down a street I've never been down before, just saying 'Go throw yourself into the sea'.
Friendly folk, aren't they?
I took Katie, as promised, to the Corn Exchange. She bought beads in Fabric Junkie and we picked up some free NMEs in another shop. They were old, which is why we got them free, they just cut the barcodes off. We ripped pages out of them, scribbled on them, and took these pages for a tour around the city, including on a cash machine and next to some stickers saying 'Suck my balls'. Katie's ripped-out page met its fate on…wait for it…a dead pigeon outside the Cockpit.
Where else did we go? Jumbo. That wasn't meant to rhyme, it just did. Flip through vinyl. OH MY GOD, SIGNED ANIMAL VINYL, THEY HAVE SOME LEFT! I starved for that vinyl. Starved for it. It spent £2 of my £5. I'd already spent the best part of £2 on cherry Coke and some crisps in Newcastle central station. Later I had a cheeseburger in Burger King, and apart from a piece of toast that morning, they were all I had to eat that day. Until later. But still.
I looked at the CDs, but I couldn't starve further. I had to take Animal from someone's hand (they WERE putting it back in the rack) to look. Remember those people.
Katie went back a few minutes later to get THE LAST signed Animal vinyl.
Where else? Borders (we were using the toilets in the McDonalds next to it). Katie posed with 'The Usborne Introduction to MODERN ART', and listened to Morrissey on the listening post.
Anywhere else? Well, from a total lack of anything else to do, we mooched up through a shopping centre, I posed for a picture in an ice cream van kiddie ride, and went to Virgin Megastores, where they had a massive (I say massive, but it wasn't) display of Duels singles. I nearly died over the EPs. THE GRAND GUIGNOL! HALF LIFE! And Katie sat on the floor.
Yeah, so that's how we kill our time. Apart from going to two queue hours early.
We thought we were the only ones daft enough to, but no, there were two kids there already. The ones who I'd picked Animal up from in Jumbo. Ace.
We squeed over different bands. They were squeeing over the Horrors, Katie and I were there for Black Wire. Tom left the building with a girl and I shouted after him, 'YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING STUCK TO YOUR SHOE!' He had, too.
Dan left next and I made the stupidest noise ever when he walked past me. I've been assured he didn't notice.
Our friends went over to talk to the Horrors as they arrived. HOT. Just HOT. And so friendly, we asked for pictures and they said they'd load their instruments and then come back out to talk. And you know what? We'd been let down by a promise like that already, but they bloody did come as well. They actually listened to what we had to say and let us take pictures and didn't mind.
And then Si came out. You know, Si.
Black Wire were on a few minutes late but they were well worth waiting for. They played a couple of new songs first, before Tom's bass was fixed and they launched head-on into God Of Sheffield Traffic. What a song, what a fucking SONG. They played all BUT ONE of the singles, including the new one but NOT including Smoke And Mirrors…I mean, what?! They played one of it's b-sides (fortunately the best one and one of my favourite Black Wire songs) but not the song itself. Some new stuff.
We'd been in Burger King earlier, I got a cheeseburger (it was the only thing I could afford and I was grateful for it) and Katie got a chicken bites kids meal. With Indeterminate Stuffed Thing. An Ice Age related thing. Anyway, we decided to throw it at Si. Not in a menacing way. As a love token. Between us we screamed 'SI!' and when he finally took notice, fling. 'I LOVE YOU!'
'What's that? Knickers?' from Dan.
Cue Tom saying something like 'Well we'd appreciate knickers…' and so on, to be interrupted by Dan taking the microphone away from him.
Thoughts erupt in my head. I like the knickers I wore, and although I'd get my bags out for Black Wire, I draw the line at getting my knickers out. I wasn't throwing them for anyone.
My bra. I've never been a fan of it. Take that off and throw it.
Do you know how hard it is to take a bra off in a crowd of Black Wire fans jumping up and down to Hard To Love Easy To Lay?
Well, I did it. I waited for an opportune moment, and FLING.
It was largely ignored. For a while.
Cue the end of Very Gun and they decide to go out in style. No fun for ME, I'm getting my uncontrollable boobs squashed and crushed and squeezed and pinched and OW. Until DAN PICKS UP MY BRA AND PUTS IT ON HIS HEAD.
I've just reread that sentence and I AM SQUEEING. I'll squee more in a second.
Moment later, he flung himself into the crowd. His head goes down and comes up again a moment later minus bra. I didn't foresee this bit. I've lost my bloody bra.
Prepare to be squeed at.
He was dragged back to the front and assaulted by loving fans clinging and pulling and hugging and kissing and God knows what. I was in a good spot at the front, he'd already acknowledged my presence ('NEWCASTLE'S SHIT, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT' when they mentioned the riots, and he'd grabbed my hand and swung it during songs occasionally), as he left the crowd, among a sea of hands, he grabbed my head and kissed it.
A few moments later, I was lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling, not even thinking that I'm getting crushed. Yes, I am the classic cliché and I'd gone so weak-kneed at that kiss that I fell over.
I was dragged up, clung to by Katie and finished the night perfectly.
Oh, I think I broke the world record for bellowing 'HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY BRA?'
No luck.
Katie is lovely and kind and generous and bought me THE BEST T-SHIRT IN THE WORLD. And it so clearly is.

I do need to pay her back though.
We got outside, wandered down the street, found my dad (who I'd said I would meet outside the station), explained to him, he disapproved of my t-shirt, and I turned round to find a girl holding out a massive white thing.
'MY BRA, YOU HAVE MY BRA!'
'It's yours? I was going to keep it, but it's not my size!'
Oh, and
'Are you really a 34F?'
'Yes, YES I AM!'
I'm not, the bra said 40F and that's approximately what I am.
My dad offered to buy us a McDonalds when we got back to the station, and when we got in we found Jess ahead of us in the queue. Lucky, that, she was getting the same trains as us. She just laughed at my stories.
She also got a lift home from my lovely lovely lovely kind dad when we got back to Darlington.
I'd love to go into more detail, but my computer's about to run out of power, and I have time for about three' hours sleep before I have to get up. If I've missed anything, shout.

Things I Couldn't Fit In
The hexopus
'Suicide! Suicide! Suicide!'
The story of the free water

I do not tolerate drunken fools…

Actually, I love some drunken fools. How come you always ask me ‘Was I really drunk?’ and I have to answer ‘You were SHITFACED.’? And just now you said ‘No more vodka’ then your next text said ‘I’m getting vodka…’ Tuh. Daft git. Love.
Anyway, Idle Pursuits by Duels is FUCKING ACE. I can remember them playing it live with the Cribs, and then at Middlesbrough Music Live. Oh yes, I remembered it.
Then it died a death. It disappeared from their live set and it was widely acknowledged that it wasn’t going on the album.
Then they announced it as a b-side to Animal. Joy abounded, it’s everyone’s favourite. Well. Among the favourites.
It’s your average generic old-skool Duels song, which is why it’s so brilliant.
In other news, Duels are on the telly again tonight, and Belle and Sebastian are playing on the same programme. And do you know why it’s so brilliant? It’s all live performances, which means Animal is mind-blowing. And Belle and Sebastian play Sukie In The Graveyard, which is up there with my all-time favourite songs.
Yeah, so I watched it last night as well, I don’t care, Duels on the telly is a novelty. I love them. Can you tell?

'Alright, Hana.  How's things?'
'Alright.'
'Been to any gigs recently?'
'Nah, but I've got a few next week.'
'Who you going to see?'
'Well I'm going to see Black Wire twice in two days, once in Newcastle, and the day after in Leeds.'
'Oh.  I know Dan and Si from Black Wire, used to go clubbing with them back in the day.'

Three guesses who I had this exchange with, and the first two don't count.
Give you a clue, it was Phil.
It didn't actually surprise me that much, oddly enough.  Still, what a legend.

Also, he's surprisingly trusting, he trusted me with shitloads of tickets and £1200 from RPM and Steel Wheels.  Admittedly, all but £20 of it was a cheque, but RPM Man was trusting enough to give me a £20 note.   Personally I wouldn't trust me with that much, I wouldn't nick it, but I'd lose it.

I think I had something else to report, but I can't remember.

Yes.

As you were, then.
x

Oh no.

I only wanted an eBay account to sell some of the shite accumulating in my room. Oh, and make some money. No, I am not selling the Sammy USA vinyl yet, I want to love and appreciate that. And wait for Duels to get a little more popular, until people have turned into such fangirls/fanboys that they're dying for it just to say they have it. Oh, and I want to actually receive it first.

I did NOT want to go onto someone's for sale items and find complete back catalogues (well…almost) from the Cribs. Or Duels. Especially as I am DYING for the Potential Futures CD and vinyl. Or Black Wire. And do you know why it hurts so much? They're CHEAP.

I DON'T need to see how much my ¡Forward, Russia! single would go for and then get distracted by badges and sit having to repeat to myself, 'I do not need Cribs badges…I WANT A BADGE WITH GARY JARMAN ON IT!'
How much does a phone charger go for, normally? And revision guides? No, I don't have anything else to sell. Yet.

I wonder how much I'd get for my flyering space at Arctic Monkeys…

I can see it now.

'Maaaam?  You know how I've been dead dead lovely and useful in the past couple of weeks and done loads of dishes and tidied rooms nonotmyown and things, well, I kind of overspent.  And you know Black Wire in Leeds…and Newcastle…ohandthey'vegotthebestnewmerchandiselineeverineedatleastthreetshirts…and a taxi back from Newcastle…can I have about £80 please?'

I love how at least Seven Heroes is free.  It looks like that's all the leaving the house I'll do next week.

DON'T tell me to resist SammyUSA singles.  DON'T put it as £2.50 with only £1 postage.

I'm going to cry. 

Songs I Love At The Moment

The Pop Singer's Fear Of The Pollen Count- The Divine Comedy
Creepin' Up The Backstairs- The Fratellis
Brothers And Sisters- Duels
You Were Always The One- The Cribs
God Only Knows- The Beach Boys (or Giant Drag, it's a classic but the latter's version is actually quite good)
Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me- The Pipettes
Sometimes It's Better Not To Stick Bits Of Each Other In Each Other For Each Other- Hot Club de Paris
Key Of C- Jim Noir
The Face- Black Wire
Anything by John Egdell, because he's brilliant
And I think you should all listen to them.
Yes.